Sunday, December 30, 2007

Cody's Story / My Story / Harvey's Story

I have decided to add another on-going section to my blog, which will cover stories about LDS Family Services, or LDS adoptions in general. Last night I came across a very sad story of yet another child basically kidnapped by LDS Family Services. It is a familiar tale, not surprising at all ... and I believe this aspect of the Mormon church needs to be covered for all to learn about.

LDS Family Services, like the Mormon hierarchy and leaders -- is rotten and corrupt to the core. Here is the painful video I came across on YouTube:

The makers of the video also have a website that I urge everyone to visit:

For those of you who may have come across my blog recently, and who are not familiar with my story or the tactics of LDS adoption services, please read:


That is my story, along with my brother's, which I emailed to Samuel the Utahnite.

For a condensed version, here is a YouTube video on the subject:

And as another example that this is a regular occurrence, here is a video about yet another man desperate for his child, (and an LDS adoption gone wrong) posted by Samuel:

Friday, November 16, 2007

My Missionary Talk

Today as I was walking home, I stopped on the street corner waiting for the crosswalk light to turn on. As I stood there I noticed two men in black coats talking to a woman, and I wondered if they were missionaries. Turns out, they were! Upon noticing me glancing over, one of the young men came up to me and introduced himself. Thus, our discussion begun.

It started simply enough as they began speaking about the church and representing it. I then began to ask questions about Joseph Smith and the Book of Mormon, which they answered. I asked why I should believe in the Book of Mormon when there was no empirical evidence for it. The answer? There is! Apparently, according to this Elder, there is loads of archeological evidence confirming the Lamanites and the stories in the Book of Mormon. I asked him to quote me a source for his claims and he couldn't name any websites or verifiable institutions. He just referred to one book - which he could not remember the name of - and a few LDS members, which he could not remember the names of either.

I then asked him about Joseph Smith's 33 wives. He went on to confirm that there had indeed been polygamy in the past, that it was wrong, the church had renounced it, and that it was no longer practiced. At this point, I simply introduced myself as an ex-member who knew all about the church and had left it.
To save time, I won't get into detail about everything. But we discussed a broad range of issues. I asked about Joseph's polygamy - and got the standard responses. Even when I discussed his sexual practices with young women, his lying about it, his conveniently timed "revelation" to Emma and more, I only got cookie-cutter LDS replies. I asked about everything including:

> No Empirical Evidence > Joseph's Polygamy > Brigham's Polygamy > Hill Cumorah in New York > No DNA Evidence (in fact disproving Mormonism) > The Book of Abraham Papyri > The Kinderhook Bell-Plates > Joseph's Changing First Visions and Angel accounts > Changes to the Book of Mormon > Brigham's Murder Squads and Martial Law in Utah > How "The Great Apostasy" could happen if John the Revelator and the 3 Nephites were still alive and Priesthood holders > Joseph getting Drunk the night before he died, and him shooting 3 men with a pistol > How the Witnesses saw the plates in a "spiritual vision" and not Literally
I know there's more, but that's the most of what I can remember. We must have stood on the street corner for roughly 40 minutes talking. At last we had to part because it was so chilly out we were all shaking, not to mention it was getting late and I needed to send my sitter home.

I think what surprised me most about the discussion we had, was the knowledge of one missionary and his responses. His companion seemed stunned every now and then at everything I was saying, and I noticed him scribbling something down on a card (which he then gave to me, he had written "").

The one Elder was very well-informed and knew almost everything that I spoke about, give or take a few things. He told me he already knew all of this, but that it did not affect his testimony. He made the usual excuses: 'prophets acting as men not prophets', 'nobody is perfect but are called to do the work', 'even the Biblical prophets weren't perfect', 'nobody knows the truth, only our own opinions', ETC.

It was deeply disturbing. I had expected surprise on their part, and denial about my claims (some he did say I was mistaken about, but not much), and an attempt to argue a revisionist history. But surprisingly, they were generally informed about many matters, and sadly, did not seem to care. What absolutely stunned and shocked me - was that they already knew all of this, and yet somehow were still able to convince themselves that the church was true.

In addition to the points listed above, I also mentioned my disgust at how the LDS church is less than honest in how it portrays Joseph Smith and the church history. The Elder (it was one that did most of the talking) disagreed and seemed to somehow believe that these things are common knowledge among members. I assured him that for every member I spoke with, about 9/10 did not know most of (if any) the points we had discussed, and that he was unusually informed about them. He did admit to me that as a teenager he had been forced to go to church by his mother, and that he had always disliked and resented the church. He told me he himself had often questioned, and had heard of some things from "anti-mormons". Perhaps that is where he learned some of the information. All I know is, the majority of the members know none of this stuff -- and it is absolutely ridiculous to act as though the church is upfront about it. I might add that he stated however, that before his mission he had a 'total true conversion' to Mormonism, realized and "knew" the church was true, and was eager to spread it.

They then went on and on about their testimonies, and how we need to have faith and feel the spirit within us. They said that everyone could argue about facts and claim to have evidence, but the most important thing was a testimony through the Spirit. I then told them that a "testimony" meant nothing since it was only your own good feelings or reassuring yourself. I told them that Muslims and Jehovah's Witnesses had testimonies too, how would I know which testimony to believe? How? Well by empirical evidence, common sense, and research of course. But they denied this, claiming you only needed to pray, ask, and wait for the Spirit to confirm it.

Essentially they told me that they did not need evidence, proof, or care about arguing either side of the issues - but only needed their testimonies to continue membership and believing. I argued everything I could think of - but it did not seem to rattle them much. It was truly a sad sight indeed. These two naive young men, believing the most ridiculous nonsense from that charlatan snake oil salesman Joseph Smith -- and claiming we did not need to concern ourselves with evidence disproving him, but only needed our "testimonies from the Spirit".

They said of course, that the church was true, and God's only church on earth. And that it had the restored Priesthood, and Joseph Smith was a Prophet of God. They knew all this not according to scientific principles, documented fact, or even circumstantial evidence -- but from the burning bosom Spirit!
They told me they were glad that they had met me this evening, and hoped I would one day return to the church. What interested me as well, was that they asked if I had been excommunicated. I told them I had not been, but had left of my own free will. They then went on to talk about the 'tragedy' of excommunication, and how most of them had sinned terribly, or had become miserable people, or that the light of the Spirit had left them. I laughed this off as Mormon propaganda and told them most excommunicated people were decent enough, many had not sinned at all, and that a lot of scholars and intellectuals had been excommunicated for telling the truth about the Mormon church. They disagreed with that last statement.

Finally it ended with them bearing their testimonies. I then bore my own testimony, my "anti testimony". I stated that I did not know whether God existed or not, but was not concerned. I told them I did not believe Jesus Christ was the Saviour of mankind, but merely a man, and that I did not need the Bible for salvation. I told them that I believed in being a good person out of a mere desire for it - not from fear of punishment or reward. I told them that I believed in the goodness of man, and our ability to progress and form a better future and greater societies.

I also told them that I knew Joseph Smith was not a Prophet, but a liar, charlatan, and vile man who had committed dastardly deeds. I told them I knew Brigham Young was never a Prophet, but a murderer and evil man. I told them I knew the church was not true, and that it was built on a foundation of lies and deceit. I told them I was grateful not to be a member as I can now rejoice in the true beauties of life, and have real freedom of spirit. I told them that I hoped one day they would leave the church, and that I rejoiced every time someone left it or refrained from joining it.

The more outgoing Elder told me he knew I still had "some of the Spirit in me" and he wished good things for my future. I told them I knew they were good people, doing what they thought was right, and I appreciated that. I said that as much as I disagreed with their beliefs, and even what they were doing (spreading them) I also knew that they believed what they were saying, that they were not intentionally lying to anyone, and that I took comfort in knowing they cared enough about people to try to spread their message - even if it was wrong and they could not see it.

We parted on polite terms. We shook hands, thanked one another for the discussion, and wished one another the best. Before they left, I wrote down on one of their cards this blog address I told them that I hoped when they returned from their mission they would visit my blog. "What is it a music site or something?" asked one Elder. I shook my head and they looked at the card - you should have seen their faces! That was definitely when it ended and we all went our separate ways.

As I waited for the light to turn, I glanced down the street and saw them walking away. One of the Elders was shaking the other one in congratulation, and they seemed rather jovial. I suspect he was congratulating his partner on a job well done, and on how he had conducted himself and fought back against the "anti-mormon" arguments.

I had mixed feelings. On the one hand, I truly liked these young men. They were polite, gracious, obviously believed they were doing good, and I thought they were awesome people. I liked them, personally, as people. It made my heart glad to see such kind, respectable young men who were genuinely great and I could easily be friends with.

On the other hand, I felt a tragic sadness in my heart. For I knew they were deceived, spreading lies, participating in this cult and dedicating 2 years of their lives - and maybe even their entire lives - to it. I thought back to Joseph Smith's horrible deeds, and Brigham Young's horrible deeds, and all the people they had murdered, all the women they had dishonored, all the suffering and horrors inflicted upon people because of their lies and savagery - and I felt a deep feeling of revulsion.

These young men are good people. I like them. Most Mormons are good people, and I like them. But Mormonism as a whole, started based on lies, greed, terror, horror and foolish blind faith of the unquestioning. Mormonism is a lie. A damned lie! From start to finish, it's nothing more than deceit, cover-ups, and taking advantage of good-hearted people. It makes me ill.

One day Elder, one day I hope you realize the truth of Mormonism. I'd pray but uh, I don't believe in the power of prayer - HA! I do though, deep down in my heart, wish nothing but the best for both of you and I sincerely hope with every fibre of my being, that you set yourselves free from this great lie.
If you should ever discover the truth, and happen upon this site, please do contact me. I would love to hear from you or interview you.

And you know, experiences like this only make me even more committed to what I am doing: spreading the truth! Never again, let us stand by as innocent people are sucked into this brainwashing cult. Never again, let us do nothing as people's lives are destroyed, their dignity taken, their money wasted, and their efforts spoilt by this cult!

I vow to FIGHT MORMONISM until the day I die. And how many I can help along the way I am not sure, but all I know is that every single person counts, and I want people to have the freedom that I have now - knowing the TRUTH!

I realize that at this time, this is only a small blog. But believe me, it will get bigger and better! An ex-mormon store, videos, blogs and entries, and that is only the beginning! I plan on doing podcasts, great interviews, and MORE! I have many surprises up ahead, believe me. It will only get better from here on out ...

Saturday, October 27, 2007

Mormon Suicide List

Why make this list? Some may accuse me of sensationalism or being morbid, but I assure you that is not the case. This list is to remember those who took their own lives, because of their Mormon upbringing and beliefs.

At first I was going to make a "Mormon Murder List", but changed my mind. If I had done that, I would have to put literally hundreds of names on it: those from the Mountain Meadows Massacre, those killed by Danites and Brigham Young's murder squads, those killed by early saints for leaving Utah, on and on. Then I thought I would make a "Mormon Death List" to at least commemorate those that had died at the hands of Mormonism in recent years - but realized that would be criticized as well.

There are dozens upon dozens of men and women that have committed suicide because of the Mormon church. However, on this list I have chosen to represent those that committed suicide specifically because of the LDS church and its teachings; and whose deaths are KNOWN to be for that reason, and cannot be disputed.

People say the work that we ex-mormons do is useless, or a waste of time. But I know it is not. Look down the list at these people that have killed themselves and ask yourself: would they have still done it, if they knew the church was not true? These people thought this was God's one and only true church on earth. They believed it was true. If they had known the truth - that it is a fraud - would they be alive today? I will never, ever believe the work I do is pointless when it might save lives!

Below: a list of people who have committed suicide thanks to Mormonism. Their name and a brief summary of information is listed. Please note: this information has been taken from public sources such as newspapers, articles, or other websites like "Affirmation". If you have other information to add, or know of someone to add to the list, please email me.

This will be an ongoing article.

BRAD LAURITZEN (1947-1971)
The son of Gilbert Fay and Lucy Pettingill Lauritzen, Brad G. Lauritzen born in Brigham City, Utah on October 26, 1947.

In 1966, Brad registered in Brigham Young University's Study Abroad Program and spent a semester in Grenoble, France. While a student at BYU, Brad became affiliated with a social group for gay people in 1967 and early 1968 that met regularly in the "step down lounge" at the Wilkinson Center.

Brad was outed by Donald Attridge, another gay student, in the early spring of 1968. Attridge had turned in a lengthy list of names to Apostle Spencer Kimball after receiving assurances from both BYU's head of Standards Office, Kenneth Lauritzen (no relation to Brad), and Kimball that those on the list would be "helped" by Kimball.

Instead, Brad was hospitalized in the psychiatric ward of a mental institution by his family. He later escaped and ran away to San Francisco, where he committed suicide just before Christmas, on December 18, 1971. He was 24 years old.

KIP ELIASON (1966-1982)
"On March 2, 1982, Kip Eliason, age 16, distraught and filled with self-hate over his inability to stop masturbating, committed suicide. Before asphyxiating himself, Kip left his father a note:
"Dear Dad,I love you more than what words can say. If it were possible, I would stay alive for only you, for I really only have you. But it isn't possible. I must first love myself, and I do not. The strange feeling of darkness and self-hate overpowers all my defenses. I must unfortunately yield to it. This turbulent feeling is only for a few to truly understand. I feel that you do not comprehend the immense feeling of self-hatred I have. This is the only way I feel that I can relieve myself of these feelings now. Carry on with your life and be happy. I love you more than words can say.—Your son, Kip"
Kip Eliason's five-year struggle to overcome masturbation started at age 11 when his grandmother persuaded him to join the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (LDS), whose members are better known as Mormons.
Kip was an intelligent and sensitive young man, perhaps too sensitive. The death of his mother when the boy was six had profoundly affected him. At times he was quiet and reflective, spending hours alone in his room, and yet he was outgoing by nature. He was a born leader. His classmates and teachers admired him for his friendly way and all-American good looks. Kip was truthful and possessed a farm-community naïveté.
Kip was not the kind of youngster you'd think would commit suicide, but when his church told him that he'd find guilt, depression and self-hate if he masturbated, he believed so. When it said he'd go to hell if he didn't stop, he believed that too. And when he was told that masturbation was a "building block of suicide," he took the church at its word."

Jay Lynn Peterson was born on January 23, 1966, in West Valley City, Utah.
He was baptized in the LDS Church on May 3, 1975.
After high school, Jay served in the US Navy.

On January 31, 1998, Jay was involved in a violent altercation at the Exchange Place, downtown Salt Lake City, with a man who made a derogatory statement about Jay's sexual orientation. After the altercation, Jay drove to his apartment in the Avenues and committed suicide. He was 32 years old.
Jay is buried at the Utah Veterans Memorial Cemetery in Riverton, Utah.
HENRY STUART MATIS (1967 - 2000)

On February 25, 2000, Stuart Matis drove to the LDS chapel in Los Altos, California, and took his life. He was frustrated by the efforts by the LDS Church to pass Proposition 22, and he felt that he could not reconcile his religion and his homosexuality. He was 32 years old.

After high school, Stuart enrolled in BYU and served a mission in Italy (where he met Clay Whitmer). After graduation, in 1996, he started to work for Andersen Consulting in California.

His brother Bill wrote the following: "To those who feel that my brother was no better than a murderer or an adulterer, I would like to say that the murderer and adulterer choose to be what they are. My brother didn't choose to be homosexual any more than you or I chose the color of our skin. Many who knew him say that he was one of the most Christ-like people they had ever met. He was a son, brother, uncle, nephew, cousin and true friend."

Words by Stuart: "I implore the students at BYU [Brigham Young University] to re-assess their homophobic feelings. Seek to understand first before you make comments. We have the same needs as you. We desire to love and be loved. We desire to live our lives with happiness. We are not a threat to you or your families. We are your sons, daughters, brothers, sisters, neighbors, co-workers and friends, and most importantly, we are all children of God."

CLAY WHITMER (1965-2000)

Clay Douglass Whitmer was born May 21, 1965. He was an incredibly intelligent person. He had an M.B.A. and a J.D. He could pick up just about any subject matter with complete ease. He was someone who had very high aspirations.

Clay had been involved with Affirmation: Gay and Lesbian Mormons as a member of the San Francisco chapter. His family lives in Kansas City, Missouri. Clay had a very complicated relationship with his parents, and they have decided not to memorialize his life or death.

Clay committed suicide in the San Francisco Bay Area on March 20, 2000--three weeks after his friend Stuart Matis. Stuart was Clay's very dear friend. They went to Brigham Young University together and served Mormon missions together in Italy.

The death of his friend Stuart may have been the last straw in Clay's life. He wrote in his suicide note that he wanted to say good-bye to all his friends and to apologize for the pain he knew he would cause them. He also chose a place to commit the suicide which he knew none of his friends had any particular connection to. Peculiar as it may sound, even in contemplating his own death, he thought of others. This was the type of person he was.


Brian David James Hyer Thompson was born on June 22, 1967. During his life he was intensely involved in the LDS Church, Affirmation (Gay and Lesbian Mormons), and the community at large. He graduated from Bingham High School in South Jordan, Utah. After serving a Mormon mission in Seattle, he returned to Utah, where he was elected president of the Utah Log Cabin Republicans and participated in several gay and lesbian organizations.

DJ had a strong connection with Mormonism, especially through Affirmation, Reconciliation, and his Salt Lake City singles ward in the Avenues. Years after coming out, he was still attending that ward and discussing gay issues with his bishop. DJ was a strong advocate for gay rights. He was proud to be gay and proud to be Mormon.

DJ lived in many places and tried very hard to find happiness. He loved French culture and once traveled to Paris as an artist's assistant. He loved movies, paintings, and art. He loved hiking, nature, and animals—especially cats. He loved to grow flowers and was a talented cook.

At the time of his death, DJ was living with a gay couple near Kingman, Arizona. He was very frustrated over the LDS Church's involvement with Proposition 22 in California and the recent suicide of Stuart Matis.

DJ committed suicide near Kingman, Arizona, on March 9, 2000. He was 32 years old.

BRYAN JORDAN SMITH (1983 - 2004)

Bryan Jordan Smith was born March 27, 1983 in Salt Lake City, Utah.

He graduated from American Fork High School and LDS Seminary. He was an active member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and served an LDS mission in Omaha, Nebraska.

Bryan was a loving son and brother who enjoyed the outdoors, scrap booking, animals, and gardening. He loved cars and especially, his white Ford convertible Mustang. Bryan worked for Alpine School District at the Pony Express Elementary School. He planned on attending Joseph Patrick Academy of Hair this fall.

Bryan committed suicide on Wednesday, August 18, 2004 in American Fork. He left a suicide note stating that he could not handle the fact that he was gay and that was at least one of the reasons for his suicide. He is survived by his mother, sister, brother, grandparents, and numerous other relatives. Funeral services were held August 24, 2004 in the American Fork LDS West Stake Center (700 East 500 North). Bryan is buried in the American Fork Cemetery.

Jordan was born September 19, 1989 in Richmond, Virgina to Tony Merrill and Jamie Porter Jensen. He passed away October 15, 2007.
He was an honor student at Alta High School and an Eagle Scout. His friendly personality drew many friends to him. Jordan will be severely missed by his family and friends and will forever be remembered for his loving nature, beautiful smile, many talents and his keen mind.