Sunday, July 25, 2010

2010 Calendar


I'm looking at these guys and all I can think is: gay, gay, gay! I guess for Mormon women that 'clean-cut', gay-looking 'nice missionary boy' look is appealing? Sure they've got nice abs, but they all look incredibly gay. I have nothing against gay men, I just don't want to sleep with them. I mean come on, at least put them in some ripped jeans, tousle the hair and bend 'em over a car or something. Maybe a bit of grease or sweat.

The "Men on a Mission" Calendar caused a big uproar in the Mormon community when it came out a few years ago. I guess it was pretty 'controversial'. Amusing isn't it? After all, Joseph Smith having sex with teenage girls, marrying mother-daughter combos, marrying other men's wives is all ignored. Brigham Young saying that slavery is a divine institution and ordering hit squads to murder people is ignored. The shock therapy for gays at BYU and the forged 'salamander' documents Hinckley bought are all ignored.

But men without shirts? *Gasp* Being bought by Mormon women? Oh we can't have this! We must freak out and investigate whether these are ex-mormons or active mormons so we can know whether to threaten excommunication or not!

Well I've got to admit, they were right about one thing. I am having "dirty and impure" thoughts. Unfortunately, none of these include a woman being involved. And yes I am wet -- if only because I spilled water on myself laughing so hard. Really, this calendar proves why I was never interested in any boys at Church. Better luck next year folks!

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