I looked back on some old journals, and it was recorded on January 14th, 2006 that I had officially decided that Mormonism was a fraud, and that I was going to leave the Mormon Church.
It was the beginning of a new year, and I struggled through the various levels of: denial, bargaining, justification, anger, and sadness, until I reached acceptance ... and finally gratitude.
In the two years since I have learned much about the real history of Mormonism, the truth about the church, and I have finally grown up and found my place in 'the real world'.
I no longer live in a self-deluded fantasy, and I will always be proud of myself for leaving Mormonism, for escaping the indocrination and guilt, and for thinking for myself.
I have studied Christianity, history, religion in general, evolution, science and many more subjects. I have learned more in the last two years of study than I learned in 8 years of Mormonism. But the process of learning is an on-going thing, which will never end.
I am so much happier, and I feel a peace in my heart that was missing for those eight years. I feel self-acceptance, I feel acceptance for others, and I marvel at the beauty of this world that I once so arrogantly condemned and took for granted.
Tears come to my eyes, because I don't even know how to express how grateful I am, to have left Mormonism, how much more free my spirit is, how wonderful life really is.
Leaving Mormonism was painful and difficult, but it was one of the best decisions I've ever made in my life. I'm so proud of myself, so happy to have done it, and I truly hope I can help others in their journey out of it.
I am in debt to those who took the time and effort to expose Mormonism, and to tell the truth. To all those who wrote articles, made videos, made websites and blogs, to those who spoke openly ... I owe my education to you. I owe my freedom to you. Thank you for the work you have done, and please know it has not been in vain.
Is this how it feels to be free?
Is this how it feels to be me?
Today I smiled, because I feel alive --
for the first time, in a long time.